You need never again travel alone.

Strange huh?

I mean, they’re hardly bacon and eggs, Tom and Jerry, or cinemas and useless staff.

Which is why, when a Pyrex jug filled with half a dozen or so goldfish drifted past me in St Pancras station last Thursday, I was more than a little bemused. The fish and their mobile home were being gingerly carried by a girl on her way to catch a train out of London.

If, like me, you’re wondering why said girl was striding through the station with a jug of goldfish and a suitcase, then don’t worry – I investigated:

‘Hey, sorry to… but, I just have to know – the fish, are you taking them on holiday?’

‘Yes, of course.’

Of course, clearly I was an idiot. How could she possibly be doing anything else? I mean, what sort of monster would leave their gold fish at home while they nipped off for a spot of sun? Not her, that’s for damn sure.

According to The Internet, a one inch goldfish should be kept in one gallon of water. So, if you’re jetting off somewhere exotic this summer; you can take a jug, complete with a goldfish, as your carry on. Provided of course there’s only 100ml of water in the jug and the fish is only 0.5mm in length.

I wonder if that’s on easyJet’s website, it should be.

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